To Be Someone Else

I am worried.

There was so much I wished to accomplish so soon, and somehow I have gotten so far off track I do not even recognize the path I was ever on. I used to think that I was exceptionally bright, wise beyond my years...

But I was a fool.

The future is as real as you make it, and even then, it will never be as real as prior defeat.

All I can do is roll with the punches, and adapt. Take what I can and suffer through what I can't.

Who will I be, if I am not who I wanted. What can I do to hold my head up high, and say that I am worthy, when I am but a man, struggling as all men do.

I know that there is only lasting greatness in the arms of the Father and in the love of a wife. But I cannot help but think that surely, surely there must be more out there for me. I know in my head that I am wrong, but the heart is deceitful above all things, and craves only what it is fed.

And I have taught it too feed only on a diet of doubts and shining possibilities forever a hairs breadth away.

Woefully, I am in ruin. For I was greatest before I ever was. And now, I will always be lesser than I could have been.

Surely it would have been good to be someone else.

Or better yet,

No one at all.

- Lason