A Guide to Between Dark Horizons

    Between Dark Horizons is the second installation in my poetry series; in it, I moved away from sonnets and "Instagram poetry" and spent more focus on poetic narratives and a looser style of prose. I started to write Between Dark Horizons right after I finished Love Between Darkness in hopes of achieving a flow that made the transition between the different styles less jarring. With that in mind, each section of BDH is set up in thematic sections similar to LBD. If you've read BDH, you'll know that I have taken a more cryptic take on my poetry and have created extended metaphors that span the entirety of the book. Because this book has a looser and more thematic writing style, I wanted to create a guide that would summarize my intent and give meaning where my words have failed me.

A Guide to Each Section

The Reaper

    "The Reaper" is a set of sonnets centered around the embodiment of death and a carefully crafted garden of lilies that he is unable to touch. This set of poems was inspired during a very dark time in my life when I believed myself destined to be alone and constantly betrayed. During this time I was experiencing a constant battle with mental health coupled with the pain of social isolation. I found that I often feel as if I am a reaper in a garden. As if I am a being destined to hurt those that he cares for and whose nature is wholly different than those who he wishes to love. I wrote 'The Reaper" to portray my sense of loss and longing, and ultimately to remind myself that eventually this time of isolation, loss and regret will end.

With Longing

    "With Longing" focuses on the pangs of unrealized desire and the arduous yet hopeful search for meaning. I drew inspiration from my past failings and the loss of my clear way forward to write "With Longing". When I was young and naive, and my view of the world was simple and clear, I thought I had everything figured out. It was a jarring and humbling experience to be injured twice in the Marines, lose a relationship with someone I cared about, and struggle to pick up the pieces of my life let in the wake of an ideal future. I was stripped of my pride by the vicissitudes of life and that pain was the inspiration for "With Longing". This section takes the humility instilled on me by my past failings and uses it as a muse in search of the fortitude and resolve that I had lost and hoped to find again.

The Remnants

    "The Remnants" moved away from existential longing and focused on the longing found in romance and previous relationships. I titled the section "The Remnants" for 2 reasons. The first reason is unpoetic. Part of the poems from "The Remnants" were chronologically written during or before LBD and they are therefore remnants of my previous work. This is evident though the use of allusions found in LBD and the similar writing style of my pervious book. The second reason why I decided to title this section as "The Remnants" is because all desire apart from that of my Burning Rose, are useless remnants of my flesh and feelings that will not bear any lasting goodness. The poems in "The Remnants" are just that, remnants, pieces of a will and desire that is soon to be gone and only sparingly remembered.

The Wanderer

    "The Wanderer" is by far the most cryptic section in BDH. This section uses a mix of spacing, and line justification to give 3 separate views that bleed into one another. In this section the main character "The Wanderer" attempts to find a lasting light that is stronger and more stable than the candles that his home uses. This quest of his seems like a noble desire since light is the only thing that keeps the creatures of the dark from invading the city, but when this chapter is examined three things come to mind. The first is that The Wanderer's quest is only a pretense to fill a morbid curiosity that he has with the strange and dangerous nature of the darkness. The second is that The Wanderer, never returns with a lasting light to save the city. Even though that was his goal, I wrote this section so that it doesn't feel as if he failed. Lastly, you'll notice that "The Wanderer" does not earn his title until the last poem when the city is destroyed, and the darkness overtakes the light. I'll leave the meaning for this section up to you.

For The Lost

    "For The Lost" was written in tandem with "With Longing". I wrote "For the Lost" to portray the ever-present sense of hollowness one feels when lost in the throes of despair. The overall narrative in "For The Lost" transitions from that of utter despair to one of acceptance and then finally with a poem about resolve and strength in the worst of circumstances. I truly did write this section for people who are lost in life. During the hardest time in my life, I found myself constantly cynical towards any goodness in my life. It was easy during this time to see myself as a victim of circumstance and think of myself as the butt of a cosmic joke. I found it hard to find meaning and purpose and that ultimately was what was destroying me. I found hope and purpose not in my inwardly focused and cynically pessimistic view of the word, but rather in the reopening of my mind to possible opportunities and through a constant search for gratitude. The ending of "For The Lost" is a hopeful call for others to accept the suffering in their life, and, rather than asking for it to be taken away, asking God to make one strong enough to overcome.

Eyes and Eves

    "Eyes and Eves" was the story of losing my faith and finding God again. I wrote this section fueled by my own sense of self-righteousness and my feelings of betrayal towards God. This section starts out in both rage and despair towards a god, who I thought, saw me as insignificant. During this time, I was inspired by the Old Testament story of Esau, how he was loved less by God and doomed to suffer. Likewise, I was inspired by the children of Job, who were used as collateral damage in a bet between God and Satan. During my time of despair, I really resonated with Job's children and Esau. It felt as if I had been loved less by God, a cog used to fill some cosmic purpose I didn't consent to. It was only after a long period of lamenting and despair; did I reevaluate my involvement in my own suffering. "Eyes and Eves" ends with the seeking of God's grace and a subsequently hopeful acknowledgement of God's love.

A Tale of Two Lovers

    "A Tale of Two Lovers" was an extended metaphor for the love of flesh and sin, and the agape love of God. It was written as a commentary on the allure, but ultimate hopelessness found in pursuits of passion. The beginning section was written from the perspective of the flesh, an embodiment of temptation and sin. It transitions to the quick and pervasive despair that follows pursuits of the heart and ends with the redemption found in God's love. I originally intended the last poem of this section close out "Eyes and Eves" but I felt that the intimacy of the poem set a great tone to close out this section.

With Love

    "With Love" was written in concert with "Eyes and Eves" and "The Remnants". Where "The Remnants" was inspired by the remnants of wasted desire and the longing of the flesh, "With Love" was written to exemplify the joy found in agape love towards a worthy person. Although both this section and "The Remnants" are inspired by romance, I wanted "With Love" to focus on the love  given by God and the desire to seek and pursue a future. Similar to LBD's "Loved" and "Love" sections, "The Remnants" contains my past and "With Love" contains my hopeful future.

Poisons and Truth

    The last section of BDH, "Poisons and Truth" is meant to summarize all of the previous chapters and see each chapter in a new light. I wrote this section as a critique to my previous works and a response to my shortsighted hopelessness. To prepare for this section, I reread each section and wrote a personal epilogue for each of them. I labeled this section "Poisons and Truth" as an allusion to a poem written in LBD. I felt that truth and love could only be found at the expense of one's own suffering, and pain really exemplifies a great portion of my life. I believe it is accurate assessment of my life to say that I know truth because I have suffered, and I know love because I have known the poison of false lovers and easy lies.

Closing Remarks

    I really do hope that I have adequately expressed myself in Between Dark Horizons. I have a tendency to be unduly verbose in my writing, and I hope that I did not create any confusion that would detract from my overall message. I hope that someone will read this installation in my poetry series and know that there is beauty and joy found in suffering. I hope that someone will find my words inspiring them to move ever onward. And lastly, I hope I could show those of us who have thought themselves unloved by God, that they are wrong. God is close, and you, my friend, my dear, are known.